


Better Left Unsaid

by SymphonicWinds



Category: Emma Approved
Genre: Dorks in Love, F/M, Jealous!Jane, Jealous!Knightley, flashback central
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 18:05:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2160018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymphonicWinds/pseuds/SymphonicWinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Upon figuring out his feelings for Emma Woodhouse, he decides to keep them to himself, in fear of jeopardizing their friendship and later their partnership. However, something keeps bugging him, urging him to tell her how he feels... Knightley/Emma</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Left Unsaid

When Alex realizes that he's in love with Emma Woodhouse, he is eighteen at his high school prom. When his date is bedridden with the stomach flu, Emma boldly volunteers to take her stead.

"It's the least I can do, after you saved me from Captain Scumbag," she tells him, as she marches her way through the entire mall looking for a prom dress.

At first he is simply relieved that he doesn't have to go to prom alone, but as she walks down the stairway, happy and confident, he is awestruck by her beauty. Emma smirks at him and fixes his bow tie affectionately, "Look at you Mr. _Knightley_. I told you that you look better freshly shaved."

He rubs his chin thoughtfully, "You never told me that."

She flashes another smile at him and shrugs, "Well Mr. Knightley, now you know."

He looks at her, bemused, "Where did this Mr. Knightley business come from? What happened to just calling me 'Alex'?"

Instead of answering, she prances out of the door and hops into his car.

"We're going to be late!" she calls, leaving him to run after her before she drives off without him.

* * *

The first time that Alex thinks of confessing to Emma, it is after her first break up. He is surprised to find her sitting on his couch, her eyes puffy and red, lounging in sweats and a thick sweater.

He immediately drops his things and walks over to her, concerned. "What happened? Did you and Dylan get into another fight?"

She looks at him, her face dripping with sadness and sniffles."We broke up," she tells him, her voice broken and small.

He resists the urge to leave his apartment to kick Dylan's ass and opts to sitting down and comforting Emma. "It'll be okay," he tells her, "There are plenty of other guys who are a hundred times better than Mr. 4.0 GPA." He bites back any thoughts of _him_ being better than Dylan Walker.

"But he was _so_ sweet to me in the beginning..." Emma grabs another tissue and sniffles.

"Has he been sweet to you recently?" he asks, already knowing the answer. He's heard countless stories of Dylan ditching her to 'study' when he was really at the bar with his friends. When she shakes her head no, he says, "Then he wasn't worth it. You're Emma Woodhouse, right? Someone who would rather eat beer nuts with his friends than be with you are _not_ worth your tears."

Emma smiles weakly and buries herself into Alex's chest. "Thanks," she says, muffled through the fabric of his shirt.

The urge to kiss the top of her head and confess pops into his head, but with Emma crying into his chest, he finds it easy to squash the temptation. They stay that way for a while, until Emma releases herself from him, wiping her eyes and smiles. "I think I'm okay now," she smiles, her eyes still watery.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his brow furrowed in concern.

She nods and gives him one last hug. "Yes."

"Okay," he reaches for his car keys, "Do you want me to drive you home?"

Emma reacts immediately, grabbing Alex's hand to prevent him from picking up his keys. "No! It's fine. I don't want to inconvenience you."

"It's okay, I can-"

"Actually, I wanted to stay with you for the night!" Emma exclaims. She pauses, realizing what she just said. "If that's okay with you."

"Why do you want to stay here?" he asks, instantly suspicious.

"I don't want to explain to Dad," she says, her gaze seemingly fixed at Alex's small TV set.

He looks at her and sighs. "Fine." She beams at him and Alex's heart is ready to explode with joy. She drags him back onto the couch, and turns on the TV. They flip through channels until they find a marathon of rom-coms to watch, and fall asleep in the glow of his TV.

* * *

Emma and Alex are at Izzy and John's wedding, both of them dolled up to look their very best. Alex's gaze follows Emma as she walks up to the podium and begins her speech. Emma has always been a good public speaker and enchants the room with stories of Izzy and Emma's youth. Her gaze sweeps across the room and smiles when she spots Alex before finishing and returns to her seat.

"I didn't know that you and Izzy had a fight on who would marry John," he says, as she sits down next to him.

She waves it off and says simply, "That was a long time ago. Before I saw how good of a match they are," she's nearly jumping in her seat in excitement.

" _You_ aren't the reason why they got married," he tells her, trying to bring her back to Earth.

"No, but I _totally_ saw it coming before anyone else did!" She beams at him, making Alex's aloof demeanor melt around the edges.

"That doesn't mean that you should credit yourself for their love," he tells her, "They're the ones that made it work, not you."

"Don't be such a party pooper Alex," she replies. He can almost see her sticking her tongue at him, provided they were in a less public setting. "Aren't you happy that your brother found the woman of his dreams?"

"Yes, I am. But you shouldn't be trying to take the spotlight. It's their wedding, not yours."

"Oh, I know. I'm just happy for them." Emma stands up, and tugs at Alex's suit, "Let's dance! I'm bored with sitting here."

"Emma, you know I don't dance."

"Come on, it'll be fun! Pleaaaase~?" she gives him a puppy-dog look, making him sigh heavily.

"Fine. One dance."

"Thank you thank you thank you!" She takes him to the dance floor. A fast song is playing in the background, and Emma immediately breaks out into dance. Alex, not having any experience with dancing, tries to mimic Emma's movements with questionable results. He bears through the song and nearly bolts out of the room when the song is done. He finds himself at a balcony outside and leans on the railing, enjoying the night's breeze in comparison to the stuffy banquet hall he spent the day in. A few minutes later, Emma comes in and joins him.

"See?" she says, smiling, "That wasn't _so_ bad."

"Don't make me dance again."

"Come on, tell me that you're at least enjoying yourself." Emma waits for Alex to respond and takes his silence as a confirmation of her suspicions.

After a moment of silence, Emma asks him, "How is your job at Pemberley Digital? Do you like it?"

Alex looks at her, confused by the sudden line of questions. "It's a good job with decent pay. Frankly, I'm surprised I found a job so easily after finishing my undergrad considering the current Job Market." Emma nods, keeping her face turned away from him.

Another silence falls between them before she says carefully, "Would you feel comfortable... leaving it?"

"If I had a better career lined up for me, yes." he replies, his suspicions heightening.

"Well... maybe there _is_ a better career for you." Emma takes in a deep breath, before saying, "With me."

"What are you-"

"I was thinking on starting my own business. With you."

Instantly, dozens of questions pop into Alex's mind. What would the business be built upon? Why would Emma even _want_ to start a business? She didn't even have a background in business!

"What would we even _do_?" he asks her, "Do you have a business model planned out?"

"Yes, actually." She looks up at him with a glint in her eye that Alex can't help but appreciate, "I want to get into lifestyle excellence and match making. We'd be built upon taking in clients and making their life better! It'll be Emma Approved!" she snaps her fingers in emphasis, grinning at him.

"So... we're a glorified dating site," he surmises, his eyebrows raised in skepticism.

Emma huffs in annoyance, "No! That just makes it sound trashy. We're match makers, but we'll also do events and parties. Our basis is really making people's lives better, so our business model can change to accommodate our client's needs."

"So what do you need _me_ for?"

"The boring stuff. Accounting, balancing the budget, the stuff I _know_ you love."

Alex sighs, and faces her before saying, "Emma, can we at least think this through better? We need to work on the business model, as well as renting an office space, advertising, hiring other employees... there's a lot of work to be done and jumping in head first will _not_ work for once."

"So you're saying you'll do it?" Emma's eyes are shining. The urge to confess pops up again, and he imagines himself taking her into his arms and kissing her, telling her _yes, of course I will, because I love you and I want to make you happy_. He suppresses the urge, telling himself that becoming business partners means that any chance of dating her would be gone. Alex knows first hand that offices romances never worked out, from his experiences at Pemberley Digital.  He looks at her, radiant in the moonlight and surrenders. _Anything to be with her, even if it means never **being** with_ _her._

"Yes." he says, "I'll do it. But don't expect me to quit my job tomorrow okay? I want _everything_ completely smoothed out before I quit."

Emma squeals in delight and engulfs Alex in a back-breaking hug. "We're going to make the world better!" she exclaims, beaming. And despite the heavy feeling in his chest, Alex can't help but smile back at her.

* * *

As he and Emma build Emma Approved together, he keeps himself busy enough to keep his feelings of her at bay. Through the first twenty matches, hiring Harriet and dealing with Emma's first failure as a business woman, Alex is content being her best friend and business partner.

Until Frank Churchill shows up.

When he first meets Frank Churchill, something about him immediately puts Alex off. At first he pegs it at the man's insistence for expensive and trivial things (700 dollars worth of quail eggs? _Really_?) and the general negative influence he brought onto Emma, but as the months go by his growing dislike for Frank suggests something else.

And it became apparent what that something _was_ when he witnesses Frank sucking jam off of Emma's finger.

He initially wanted to talk to Emma about the gift box arrangements- Jane had been buzzing around him all day about them and he wanted to set her mind at ease. But he can't bring himself to interrupt them when he sees them together, in their own little of bubble of prosperity. His mind is growing with hateful things to say about Frank as he backs out of Emma's office and heads back to his own- how pretentious he is, his overly loud personality and his self absorbed nature. By the time he is at his office, he is irritable and snaps at Jane when she checks up on him. Caught off guard, she takes a step back and asks, "Should I come back later?"

Realizing who he had yelled at, Alex sighs heavily, "No. It's fine. Sorry about that."

Cautious, she sits down next to him and asks, "Did you talk to Emma about the jams?"

"I didn't want to interrupt her meeting with _Mister Churchill_." The venom in his voice is undeniable. Realizing this, Alex immediately begins to apologize, but is surprised to see Jane adopting a sour look of her own.

"Yes, he has been spending a lot of time with her lately," she replies, her voice as dry as his.

Forgetting his own jealousy, his concern for Jane makes him ask, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she replies, stiffly. The fact that she is unable to look him in the eye tells him otherwise.

"You don't _sound_ fine," he tells her.

"Trust me, I'm just as okay as _you_ are right now."

"So not okay at all?" At this, Jane raises her eyebrows at him with a knowing smile.

"So you admit that you're also uncomfortable with Emma and Mr. Churchill's current relationship?"

A part of Alex breaks when he hears that, making his voice weak when he mutters, "Please don't call it a 'relationship'."

"You should talk to Emma about it; _you're_ the only one she listens to in this office," Jane's voices comes out as scathing, but Alex remains silent. He tries to imagine himself confronting Emma about her relationship with Frank- but he can't bring himself to. He can feel the urge to confess flare up again, fighting its way through the jealousy and doubt in his mind. He shuts it down, reminding himself that a confession would not only would it ruin their relationship, he would be setting himself up for heart break. _Because of Frank Churchill_ , his mind adds, bitterly.

"I doubt she will," he says, his voice strangely grave. 

"If you say so," Jane gets up from her chair, "But once you decide to _do_ something about this, please tell me." She walks away briskly, leaving Alex by himself.

* * *

The final time the urge to confess hits Alex, he takes it and _runs_ with it. He can his heart beat pounding in his ears as he runs to the foyer and grabs the flowers he had initially brought to cheer up Emma from her heart break. He tries to make it back to her as quickly as he can, and presents them to her.

"What are these?" she asks him, her voice thick from crying.

He can feel a part of him telling him to stop, to back down, but for once he ignores them and smiles at her. "I told you I could get a girl flowers."

"But flowers are romantic," she says, confused. "Flowers are _romantic_."

He nods, trying to work up the remainder of his courage. "Emma Woodhouse, I don't have the words to tell you how in love with you I am. Maybe, if I loved you less, I could talk about it more." He tries to concentrate on Emma as his mind explodes with dozens of thoughts, all bouncing around in his mind. He ignores them and focuses on the grim determination that is pushing him forward.

"I thought you were..." she trails off, looking at the bouquet in confusion. He takes it as a sign to continue, and lets out a small laugh of relief. "Clearly you don't have the words either."

They share a couple of small laughs together before Emma looks at him, her face etched with worry. "Are you sure? What about the business?"

His resolve is overtaking him now and he is able to look Emma straight in the eye and says simply, "I don't care."

"What about our families? Izzy and John..."

"We'll figure it out."

"Alex, your friendship means everything to me, I can't lose you. What if we screw this up?" Emma's pained expression makes Alex want to envelop her into a tight embrace, but he restrains himself and settles for holding her arm.

"Not a chance. You know me. You know that I am difficult and grumpy and set in my ways," At this, Emma smiles and Alex takes it as encouragement, his heart racing, "But if you let me, I will spend every day trying to make you happy." His voice comes out as somber, but he doesn't care because he's _finally_ told her how he feels about her. The faint happiness he feels slips away and paranoia sets in as he and Emma sit in silence.

"Emma... say something..." He prepares himself for heartbreak until Emma pulls him into a kiss, taking him entirely by surprise. His mind is still in shock as she kisses him, warm and open against him.

"Was that a yes?" He can't help but ask, his mind still frozen from the kiss.

She smiles and laughs softly, "You can't tell that was a yes?"

"I was just making sure," he replies, overwhelmed with joy. A small seed of doubt settles into him, reminding him that he hasn't kissed anyone in _years._ So he asks her, "Just out of curiosity, how was that?"

"Very Emma Approved," she says, nodding. He can't help but grin, and kisses her again, letting the feelings of relief, joy and pure _happiness_ overtake him.

When they pull apart, he rests his forehead on hers and says, "I love you, Emma."

"I love you too." They kiss one last time and stay there, for a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this, I had to force myself to stop rewatching episode 70 to write this :P (even though the last scene is ripped STRAIGHT from there but I don't think anyone wanted an alternate confession.) Emma/Knightley are so great, aren't they? /dreamy sigh


End file.
